Writing mistake 3 – adverb or adverbose!
OK I’m sorry about the pun but it does explain another common writing mistake that publishers hate. The over use of empty adverbs.
We all use adverbs of course. They are part of our writer’s toolbox and we open it and pluck one out whenever we want to tell our reader the how, when, where, what or why of our story. Once in a while, however, instead of picking a nice fresh one off the top, we delve down to the bottom of the toolbox, to the flotsam and jetsam that has accumulated beneath all the useful stuff, and that is when things start to go wrong.
Actually, absolutely, basically, completely, constantly, in fact, largely, literally, quite, really, seriously, totally, unusually,very, etc. have become such an accepted part of everyday speech that we use them without thinking. If, during conversation, we say ‘actually we constantly use the word literally, completely and totally out of context‘ everyone understands us. They also understand Seriously, I absolutely agree with you. Not that we would go that far, of course, but you get the gist.
How often in your everyday life do you start a sentence with actually, or basically, or even hopefully? I do it often. It’s a bad habit. I try not to do it when I write though, not even when I use dialogue. I know we all want our dialogue to sound authentic, and we all recognise that we use different rules than when we are writing prose, but our characters still need to make every word count. If the word doesn’t add anything to the story then don’t use it. Basically he is telling the truth. I completely agree with you. He is really, really upset. These short sentences convey what is meant but the adverbs are superfluous. Basically doesn’t make what he is saying any more truthful. I either agree with you or not, there is no completely about it. Also it is enough that he is upset. Really, really doesn’t add a thing.
If you think I am being pedantic then go away and look at the good writers. Search for some loose adverbs. I guarantee you won’t find any because they will have pared down their sentences and their dialogue until it is precise. No superfluous words, just a word picture using the occasional good adverb.
Say we want to write about a small child who is sitting at a table, drawing…how do we make it more interesting? Why by finding a couple of the useful adverbs, so that soon she is sitting quietly at the table, her tongue nipped between her teeth as she carefully draws a picture of her mom. In just a few words we have drawn our own picture of that little girl. We can see her. We can see the table. We can feel her concentration. What if we changed it to…she was, in fact, sitting quietly though? Does in fact tell the reader anything else? Does he learn more about the little girl? I don’t think so.
Now that I’ve got that off my chest, I’m just off to revisit my latest manuscript to check out the adverbs…how about you? And after that I’m going to have another look at that publisher’s list…
