Does your hero need CPR?
OK I’m back to that publisher’s style guide about the ten most common errors made by writers. I reached number four before I was knocked off track when my manuscript Cabin Fever was accepted by a publisher. Obviously, when the words manuscript, accepted and publisher are joined together, any writer suffers a momentary lapse of modesty. A writer might even begin to think that she is above such trivia, that her manuscripts are too good for the slush pile for a reason, the reason being that she does not make mistakes!
Fortunately this phase doesn’t last long. By the time she has re-read the said manuscript and is wondering why the publisher bothered to intercept its journey to the shredder she is ready to start thinking about errors again.
So tell me, does your hero need CPR? Has he flatlined or is there a barely perceptible heartbeat? Does your hero (for hero read any character in your book) have a pulse?
In a suspense romance I read recently the hero said ”I want to check the house one more time before I turn in. I’ll be right back.” She nodded as he got out of bed, pulled a robe from his closet and slipped it on before leaving the room. There is real hope for this hero.
If, on the other hand, the author had written… he sat on the edge of the bed and wondered what she would say if he told her that he wanted to check the house again. Would she say that the house alarm and the dog were enough and that he should get into bed. Should he just do it anyway? then I guess it would be time to plan for his interment.
For a start he is indecisive, never a good trait in a hero, but it is his flatline thinking that does it for him. In this particular example the dog and the house alarm are already a given, so mentioning them again are unnecessary. Nor do we need to know where he was sitting while he was thinking. A sentence like this is a filler. It gets the hero from A to B, but at the risk of the reader losing interest half way.
There is also another way to flatline your hero. Does your story need him to be depressed, maybe even suicidal? If it does, don’t tell the reader that. Instead show the reader. Look at your hero’s behaviour. Is he unkempt? Does he sit and stare into space for hours? Is he monosyllabic when people speak to him? Does he drink too much? Is he stashing pills in his bedside table? Any of those things will show the reader his state of mind. You don’t have to spell it out. He is depressed, maybe even suicidal is a flatline statement…it is boring and unimaginative.
Flatlining is a sign that you’ve lost interest in your your own narrative. It shows that you’re veering toward mediocrity, that your brain is fatigued, that you’ve lost your inspiration. So use it as a lesson. When you see flat writing on the page, it’s time to rethink, refuel and rewrite. Well that’s what I’m going to do anyway…with my next manuscript!
Everyone is writing a book!
I saw this quote on a writer’s website and I love it.
Cicero was a Roman philosopher, a statesman and a lawyer. He was Roman Consul and a constitutionalist. He is widely considered to be one of Rome’s greatest orators, and yet he still had trouble with his kids!
Look at his face too. He could be someone we pass in the street. He could be a politician or an actor, or maybe even a relative. He looks contemporary. He also looks just a little bit stressed. Like people nowadays, he was a busy man, so maybe when he was writing his speeches and histories, or preparing his court cases, he was also shouting at his children to make less noise. And as for all those books…!
It all goes to show that there is nothing new under the sun. Times move on, fashions change, technology takes over, and we are so busy living our day to day lives that we forget that we are shadowed by the past. And yet the past is something that we should never forget because it carries a powerful message. It has lessons for everyone…they just need an up-to-date translation.
So the next time someone you know decries the changes that are happening all around us, or complains that the younger generation spend too much time on facebook, and twitter, or are wasting their time texting, remember Cicero. And when you are surrounded by people who pronounce that the world is going to hell in a handcart, remember Cicero. And when you meet someone who says that electronic readers and electronic books will close down publishing houses and kill literature, remember Cicero.
He thought times were bad too. His kids kept going off piste, and he was depressed by the fact that far too many of his fellow countrymen were writing books. So what did he do? Well after Julius Caesar’s death he championed a return to a traditional republican government. His reward? He was proscribed as an enemy of the state after his passionate speeches made him Mark Antony’s enemy, and he was killed in 43BC.
Of course he left behind a very influential body of work, and he has had a profound effect on history. His writings influenced the culture of the Renaissance and inspired the Founding Fathers of the United States, as well as the revolutionaries of the French Revolution. But there was another side to Cicero. At times he was overreactive in the face of political and private change, and he was known for his inconsistencies and his tendency to shift his position. Indeed one of his colleages said: Would that he had been able to endure prosperity with greater self control, and adversity with more fortitude.
So perhaps he should have shouted just a little less and embraced change just a little more…well that’s what I’m going to try to do anyway!
A new book, a new publisher
I am beyond excited! I have just received the cover for my next book, Cabin Fever. Publication was only agreed on 3 February, and yet if everything goes according to plan it will be published by the end of the month.
This is a new venture for me because it will be my first electronic book. It is being published by Books We Love an Electronic Book Publisher that is a member of the Amazon Select program. Although this means that the majority of its books are exclusive to Amazon, there is a link on its website to download free Kindle Reading Aps onto desktop, laptop or other electronic devices.
I am especially pleased to be joining Books We Love because it maintains a realistic pricing policy. None of the books published are more than $2.99 (around £2.00 in the UK) which is something that attracts readers. And writers want readers. As many as possible. So while you are waiting to read my next book why not visit the website. It has a lot of writers, different genres, and a lot of books.
Cabin Fever, as the cover shows, is a story that takes place on a cruise ship as it sails from Auckland in New Zealand down to Sydney, Australia. Don’t expect a story of luxury and the high life, however, because it’s not about the passengers, it’s about the crew. I’ll tell you more later. In the meantime I’m off to have a celebratory glass of wine. Cheers!
Writing mistake 4 – Rephrasing those phrases
Phrasing is really important when you start revising your manuscript prior to submission. Are all the words you have used the correct ones? Have you checked the meaning of any that you aren’t sure about?
We all use the wrong word from time to time. A slip of the tongue, a lapse in concentration, and prostrate becomes prostate…or how about illicit instead of elicit? I’ve seen all four used wrongly. And there are the more usual ones too. The ones we all think we know about, but which it is still easy to get wrong. Effect/affect, accept/except, few/less, too/to, its/it’s, there/their. Even the simplest of words can be misspelt or misused when you are in a hurry. Maybe you are writing to a deadline and you are tired. Your eyes ache, your brain refuses to concentrate. That’s the time to put your manuscript away. Leave it for a while. Revisit it later when your eyes and your brain are fresh.
Of course you could be lucky. An editor might like your work sufficiently to correct one or two of your mistakes without comment. If your manuscript has too many mix ups, however, it will be pushed over to the slush pile, never to be read again.
There is that other phrasing problem too. The one that happens when you are trying too hard. You know, the times when you feel that you need to spice things up a bit. If your character is angry, for example, do you rush into full blown phrases such as: He gritted his teeth and his face darkened as he stared at her through reddened eyes, a pulse throbbing at his temple. This has too much action and far too much color. You just need to pick out two of the four maximum or it’s overkill.
Half the book is in the writing, the other half is in the revision, the editing, the rephrasing, the checking. So that is what I am going to do right now. I’m going to check and double check the manuscript that I was about to submit. After all a few extra days won’t make any difference but a few extra mistakes might.