Does your hero need CPR?
OK I’m back to that publisher’s style guide about the ten most common errors made by writers. I reached number four before I was knocked off track when my manuscript Cabin Fever was accepted by a publisher. Obviously, when the words manuscript, accepted and publisher are joined together, any writer suffers a momentary lapse of modesty. A writer might even begin to think that she is above such trivia, that her manuscripts are too good for the slush pile for a reason, the reason being that she does not make mistakes!
Fortunately this phase doesn’t last long. By the time she has re-read the said manuscript and is wondering why the publisher bothered to intercept its journey to the shredder she is ready to start thinking about errors again.
So tell me, does your hero need CPR? Has he flatlined or is there a barely perceptible heartbeat? Does your hero (for hero read any character in your book) have a pulse?
In a suspense romance I read recently the hero said ”I want to check the house one more time before I turn in. I’ll be right back.” She nodded as he got out of bed, pulled a robe from his closet and slipped it on before leaving the room. There is real hope for this hero.
If, on the other hand, the author had written… he sat on the edge of the bed and wondered what she would say if he told her that he wanted to check the house again. Would she say that the house alarm and the dog were enough and that he should get into bed. Should he just do it anyway? then I guess it would be time to plan for his interment.
For a start he is indecisive, never a good trait in a hero, but it is his flatline thinking that does it for him. In this particular example the dog and the house alarm are already a given, so mentioning them again are unnecessary. Nor do we need to know where he was sitting while he was thinking. A sentence like this is a filler. It gets the hero from A to B, but at the risk of the reader losing interest half way.
There is also another way to flatline your hero. Does your story need him to be depressed, maybe even suicidal? If it does, don’t tell the reader that. Instead show the reader. Look at your hero’s behaviour. Is he unkempt? Does he sit and stare into space for hours? Is he monosyllabic when people speak to him? Does he drink too much? Is he stashing pills in his bedside table? Any of those things will show the reader his state of mind. You don’t have to spell it out. He is depressed, maybe even suicidal is a flatline statement…it is boring and unimaginative.
Flatlining is a sign that you’ve lost interest in your your own narrative. It shows that you’re veering toward mediocrity, that your brain is fatigued, that you’ve lost your inspiration. So use it as a lesson. When you see flat writing on the page, it’s time to rethink, refuel and rewrite. Well that’s what I’m going to do anyway…with my next manuscript!